Do these jeans make me look fat?

Sound familiar?

As women, we’ve all asked ourselves or our partner this at least once if not countless times on a regular basis! I know I certainly have and it wasn’t until recently that I’ve begun to take a different slant on this old bug bear. What I’ve started doing is asking myself a different question and it goes like this…”do these jeans make me feel good about myself?” If the answer is yes! Then I wear them and I feel great about it. I don’t look at my bum in the mirror analysing every inch or crease and curve like I used to. I focus on how I feel when I wear the jeans. If I happened to answer no to that question, then I wear something else. Maybe a skirt. Maybe a dress. I’ll ask myself, “what is going to make me feel amazing today?” And then that’s how I present myself to the world.

An interesting thing happens when I do this. I begin to focus my attention on how I feel instead of how I’m thinking (a.k.a judging) about myself. We women are masters of this. We can scrutinise every detail about an item of clothing and the way it sits on our bodies until the cows come home. The only problem with this, is that 9 times out of 10, we’re probably beating ourselves up about ‘not being something’ i.e. thin enough which could translate as “my arms look too fat in that top.”

What I’ve come to realise after having this same conversation with myself time and again over several decades is this…negative self-talk doesn’t help me to be my best. It actually holds me back. This was quite a profound moment and one that I wish for every woman. So do yourself a favour. The next time you go to give yourself a hard time about something; just stop, smile and say something nice to yourself instead.

I bet you feel better!



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